youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
