i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
