I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
