WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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