I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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