i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize