Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
