he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
