Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Mom said you looked used
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize