I could have mohawked her pubes.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
