i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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