I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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