That's when you crack a 10am beer
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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