i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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