Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
