Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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