I'm sorry my penis didn't work
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
