Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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