She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize