She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
