who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
