Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
