3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
