ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
