I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
