Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When are your genitals available?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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