I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I need to sanitize my soul.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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