is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
