Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
