My cat gives me a boner
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
