sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
