that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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