Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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