Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
