Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
