I can tuck mytits in my pants
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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