ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
