$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
