fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
