i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
