i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
