I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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