so explain again why im purple
no
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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