Its about making memories worth repressing
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
