so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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