He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize