can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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