Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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