I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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