it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
