Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
