the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
