what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
