I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize