Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
