Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
