I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
