there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is wine microwaveable?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
