I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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