Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize