margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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