HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
