Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize