so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Randomize