Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
