So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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